


Damn Agriculture

by Mixxy



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fuck Or Die, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, PWP, Pre-Relationship, Sex Pollen, Shameless Smut, Tentacles, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:20:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixxy/pseuds/Mixxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Night Vale's newest threat is plant life with pollen that acts as an aphrodisiac. No problem for Cecil, who's waiting it out in the station tower.</p><p>That is, no problem until Carlos comes stumbling in. Carlos, who Cecil has a massive crush on but has talked to maybe four or five times. Carlos, who is currently covered in pollen and begging for Cecil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damn Agriculture

Cecil propped his feet up on the desk and listened to the air sirens going off in the distance. At least the emergency was plants this time. Last time it had been some sort of furry hamster-looking creature swarm and that had been thoroughly embarrassing. Plants were so much higher on the cool factor, when it came to deadly emergencies.

“Once again, listeners,” he said as an afterthought, leaning towards the microphone and pressing the red button. “If you’re still hearing my voice, you’re one of the lucky ones. Stay inside your homes. Think happy thoughts. Might I suggest playing some sick 80’s rock tunes until the screaming dies out? This is Cecil, still bringing you the news, stuck in the station.” He turned the microphone off, twiddling his thumbs, wondering where that intern he sent for a coffee got off to. Station management had a reputation for getting a bit touchy when the lineup was upset, as it was now, and Cecil just really hoped Roger got lost somewhere and wasn’t in pieces somewhere.

A new file flew towards his desk in the form of a paper airplane. This particular one seemed to be a Kamikaze plane model and Cecil had to duck before he caught it. “Listeners, new developments with the plant life that may or may not want to kill us. Maybe they’re just misunderstood. Maybe they just need a hug.” He unfolded the bulletin and scanned it quickly. “Correction: Do not hug the plant life. It seems that scientists, what few there are left, have discovered that the pollen of this plant, when come into contact with directly, cause increased blood flow, endorphins, a lowering of inhibitions, a-“ Cecil blinked at the sheet. “Dear listeners, I’m pretty sure these plants are emitting an aphrodisiac. So if you don’t want to make the merciful old ones who watch over this city angry with illicit sexual contact, I’d advise you to stay indoors. Unless illicit sexual contact is your thing, in which case, wrap it before you tap it. Remember: babies are just 18-year STDs!”

He tapped the mic again and the light went off. Oh, dear. So many things to do, and trapped in a radio station due to pollen that made people have uncontrollable sex. Wasn’t that just like a Monday.

A loud clanging from downstairs made him turn from where he’d been staring at the ceiling. That was strange. Usually the station doors were barricaded in any sort of riot situation. Perhaps the authorities didn’t see any threat in people having sex on the street. Just as well, the barricades refused to come down without a blood sacrifice, which was just messy.

The door to Cecil’s office flung open and his third eye widened in surprise. “Ah, Carlos!” He tried not to show too much of his enthusiasm. The scientist had only arrived at Night Vale a few months ago, and Old Woman Josie had said the angels told her that it was off-putting to gush about one’s interest too much. Especially on the radio. The angels knew more about relationship advice than you’d think non-corporal beings would. “Are you hear to update us on the science behind these plants?”

“Right, uh…the plants. They, um…” Carlos rubbed his face and stumbled a bit, grabbing the side of a table for balance. “One of them…one of them was…and I…I needed samples, right?”

Cecil tilted his head. “Carlos, you aren’t making any sense. Is this some sort of science thing I don’t understand?”

Carlos ran a hand through his hair in frustration (Cecil’s eyes followed the movement) and he took a few more halting steps forward. “Cecil…I didn’t know who else to come to. You’re my only…my only friend here in Night Vale.”

“Carlos?” Cecil’s brow wrinkled with worry. “Carlos, are you alright?”

Carlos sank to his knees, hands fisted in his hair and Cecil leapt up with alarm. He knelt down next to Carlos, hands fluttering all over, unsure whether he was doing more harm or good. He settled for cupping Carlos’ perfect face. “Dear Carlos, what’s wrong?”

He hissed with frustration, but when he looked up at Cecil his brown eyes were large and dazed. “I don’t know what’s happening, Cecil…I’m…I’m scared…” Large hands found their way up to Cecil’s lapels and clenched the fabric like it was a lifeline.

“Shush, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Cecil smoothed a hand over Carlo’s hair, only shivering a little at getting to touch the perfection. “You can trust me.”

Carlos looked confused and held Cecil’s gaze for a long moment. Then the next thing Cecil knew he was all but thrown back on his heels and he had an armful of scientist pressed against him, kissing the breath out of him. Cecil wondered for a split second it this was due to yet another reality break, but he hadn’t felt any tingling, so it was unlikely. What he did feel was Carlos pressed against every inch of him, Carlos’ hands fisted in his shirt, dragging him close, Carlos’ tongue slipping in between his lips and catching Cecil’s moans before they even left his mouth.

Cecil grabbed handfuls of that wonderful hair, wrapping his slightly longer and more flexible tongue around Carlos’, shuddering at the sounds he could draw from the other man. Carlos reached around, pressed one hand at Cecil’s lower back, bringing their pelvises together, and _yes_. Cecil didn’t even care that this came out of nowhere, that he and Carlos hadn’t talked very often, all that mattered was Carlos’ mouth against his and that lovely hardness currently against his hip.

He felt some powdery substance as he ran his hand along Carlos’ jawline and pulled back slightly, opening his eyes a little bit to see. Yellow. Why did Carlos have yellow power on his face?

It hit him suddenly, and he pulled all the way away, at least as far as he could with Carlos’ arms still looped around him. “Carlos.”

“Mmm?” Carlos was currently kissing down his neck, making the tattoos there shift pleasantly.

“Did you happen to encounter one of those plants today?”

“Idunno,” he mumbled against Cecil’s neck before licking the sensitive spot in the dip of his collarbone.

Cecil gripped Carlos’ shoulder at that but would not be distracted. “Carlos, come on. Did you come in contact with one of those plants?”

He had to physically pull Carlos off him before he would answer. “What?”

“Carlos. Plants. You. Did something happen?”

“Uh, yeah. I was trying to get samples…or something, I can’t really remember. They…they did something…right, they shot that yellow power stuff out…I got a face full of it. Now come _here_ , Cecil. You taste magnificent.”

Cecil looked up toward the sky. _Glow cloud, give me strength_. “Carlos, you got hit with the aphrodisiac powder. The plant basically roofied you.”

Carlos pushed forward, kissed the area right below Cecil’s ear. “Wanna taste every inch of you.”

“This isn’t you.”

“Sure it is. How many buttons does your shirt have?”

“You don’t want this.”

“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Cecil felt like he was going to cry. He had been so happy, thinking Carlos had finally wanted him back, but it was just the plant. Stupid sentient plant life. “Carlos,” he said, untangling himself and ignoring the kicked-puppy look he was getting from the man on the floor, “we can’t- _I_ can’t do this. I need to…do the radio anyway.”

He stared down the mic, willing the tears not to come. Once Carlos regained his sense, he wouldn’t even want to look at Cecil, much less date him. He’d practically dry humped him while he was plant-drugged.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when strong arms looped around his waist, pulling him close to a warm body. “Carlos…” it was either a warning or a plea, he wasn’t sure.

“I hear you talk about me on the radio,” Carlos murmured in his ear. “Your voice, so smooth and sexy. I wanna hear that voice in bed, wanna see how wrecked your voice can get after. I know you like it when I do science…we can experiment. Just the two of us.” He slid a hand up the inside of Cecil’s thigh.

Cecil was frozen, and it was a good thing he was pressed between Carlos and the desk because he felt like his knees were going to give out. He wanted this so fucking badly. But he couldn’t. “Carlos,” and it was embarrassing how his voice cracked like that with want, “we can’t, not as long as you’re under that powder.”

Carlos whined and ground up against Cecil, making the other man bite his lip as he fought the urge to grind back. Fuck, Carlos was rock hard, ready to go.

A second memo flew in, this one shaped like a luxury private plane. Cecil shoved Carlos away and tore it open, glad for the distraction. He slammed his hand down on the mic, turning the red light on.

“Well, listeners, it seems as if we have a new development. Scientists are saying that if, following contact with the pollen, the afflicted do _not_ have intercourse soon, the buildup of chemicals can cause…irreversible…brain damage…” The memo slipped from his hands and he looked with horror at Carlos. This news had seemed to somehow slip through Carlos’ haze of lust and scientist at least looked shocked. “So listeners, if you see something, have sex with it. Farewell!” Another click and the light went back off.

“Carlos,” Cecil whispered desperately. “Oh, Carlos, what can we do?”

“You gotta…you gotta have sex with me, right?” Carlos seemed to be fighting to spit the words out, to keep them coherent, to keep his mind away from sex for a little while. “I’m…I’m sorry about this…C-Cecil.”

“ _Sorry?_ Why are you _sorry?_ You said it yourself, you‘ve heard me talking about wanting to be with you on the radio constantly! And I obviously wasn’t that displeased by the kissing earlier. I should be apologizing to you.” He knelt down so he was at Carlos’ level. “Who can I call? I’m sure there’s an intern here who could help, or maybe that nice neighbor of yours?”

“No. Want…I want _you_ , Cecil. If you’ll…if you’ll have me.”

“If I’ll _have_ you? Of course I will, you’re perfect! But are you sure you don’t want me to call someone else, someone…you know, better?”

“N-No. I said it earlier, and…I meant it. You’re my…my only friend in Night Vale. I- I trust you. You’re the only one I’d- fuck- I’d want to…to do this.”

Cecil pressed a hand to his mouth. Maybe this didn’t have to ruin everything. Maybe it could…be a good thing, even.

“Plus you’re…I think you’re cute.” It spilled out of Carlos like a secret, and seemed to exhaust him.

Carlos blushed at that, and then even more as he realized the implications of what was about to happen. The moment of lucidity for Carlos had passed, and he was looking at Cecil like a genetically modified bird of prey getting ready to carry off an unsupervised child. “Come here,” he said at last, opening his arms.

Carlos wasted no time snuggling against him, which would have been cute if not for the tongue picking up right where it left off licking at his neck. Cecil helped him this time, though, unbuttoning his own shirt and allowing it to fall to the floor.

Carlos pressed him down against the station tile, which was cold but Cecil couldn’t bring himself to care. He gaped down at Cecil, eyes flickering all over his torso. “You have so many tattoos.” He leaned down and licked up the length of one, earning a breathy laugh from Cecil.

The tentacle tattoo manifested itself at the touch, as well as the agitation in Cecil’s system. Cecil laid back, preparing to allow Carlos to do whatever he wanted. However, he didn’t feel anything. “Carlos?”

Carlos was currently staring at the tentacle. “Is it…what? How? I…I don’t…”

“Oh, that’s right. You didn’t grow up here.” Cecil blushed a deep violet. “Look, if it freaks you out, I can still find someone else-“

“No, it’s just…what do they do?” Carlos reached out and touched it, tentatively, perking up as Cecil groaned at the contact. “You like that?” He began to stroke the tentacle with firm, long movement from base to tip. Cecil gasped and several other tentacles manifested. “Yes, Carlos, that’s good, so good.”

Without warning Carlos grimaced and double over. Alarmed, Cecil shot up. “Carlos, are you alright? Is it the pollen?”

“I don’t…fuck, I don’t know…I need it, Cecil, I need it now. Please…”

Cecil bit his lip and reversed their positions, pinning Carlos under him. He helped him pull off his shirt, since Carlos’ hands were shaking too badly to do it on their own. “Have you ever done anything with a guy before?”

Carlos whined and shook his head. “Please, Cecil, just fuck me.”

“Okay, okay. Do you want me to top, or do-“

“Please, just…get inside me. Now.”

Cecil’s mouth went dry. “I want to fuck you so hard you’ll feel it for days.” Shocked, he clamped a hand over his own mouth. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“No, no, please, keep talking.” Carlos had managed to unbutton his own pants and was kicking them down, along with his underwear.

Cecil reached down and began to jerk off Carlos roughly, grinning at the _“Cecil!_ ” he got in return. “Such a nice cock…maybe next time I can ride you, hard and fast. Would you like that?”

Carlos whimpered and reached out for Cecil. “Please…”

Cecil sat up, taking off his own pants. “But this time I’m just gonna fuck you into the station floor. You want that? Huh? Uh, Carlos?” Because Carlos was just _staring_ and this was getting weird.

“You have…tentacles. Instead of a dick.” Carlos blinked at it numbly.

“Oh…right. Yeah. I do. Is that-“

“ _Get them in me this fucking second_ ”.

It took all of Cecil’s self-control not to listen to Carlos and plunge into him right then. “Hang on.” He swiped his hand through his tentacles to gather some of his own lubricant. Watching Carlos’ face carefully, he inserted one finger.

Carlos gasped and shuddered around him. “More.”

“Don’t you want to adjust-“

“Nope. More.”

Fuck, Carlos was so hot like this, on the edge and needy and demanding. Cecil  did as he was told and added a second finger, beginning to stretch him out.

Carlos tipped his head back, and after a second began rocking his hips down onto Cecil’s fingers. “More.”

Soon three fingers were working their way in and out of Carlos, drawing lovely mewling sounds from the scientist and he tried very sincerely to fuck himself on Cecil’s hand. “Oh, god, this is- Fuck, yes, Cec _illlll!_ ” The last word ended on a shriek as Cecil located his prostate and massed it gently.

He was still enjoying teasing Carlos when all of the sudden an intense wave of pleasure made his knees go weak. Apparently Carlos was getting tired of being toyed with and had grabbed one of Cecil’s tentacles and was currently deep throating the appendage. He groaned around the tendril and Cecil clenched his teeth.

Two more tentacles wound their way around Carlos’ legs, pulling them up and apart. “You ready?”

Carlos let go to the tentacle in his mouth and nodded eagerly. “Please, Cecil. I- fuck.” He winced as another shudder ran through him. “Please, now, do it.”

Cecil guided in one of his smaller tentacles, biting his lip at the tightness. Maybe he hadn’t prepared him enough? Carlos’ head was tipped back, eyes glassy. “ _Fuck_.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, please, don’t stop. Come on, give me more.”

Another tentacle, even tighter. The two squirmed around each other, occasionally brushing across Carlos’ prostate. “Oh, god. Yes…Jesus…I didn’t…”

“More?”

“Fuck yes.”

The last tentacle he put in was one of his bigger ones, but apparently Carlos liked being full, so he went for it. He almost came then and there from the squeeze, and Carlos’ back was arched, mouth open in a silent scream. The tentacles began to thrash around inside him, and all of the sudden he was practically sobbing, begging for release, it was too much, too good, not enough, _please_ Cecil…

One of the tentacles coming from Cecil’s back wrapped around Carlos’ cock and jerked one, twice, three times, and then Carlos was coming, so tight around Cecil that he came right after, filling Carlos with his lilac-colored come.

They collapsed together on the station floor, messy and exhausted. After a minute Cecil felt a strong hand petting his hair. He managed to sum up the energy to raise his head. “Pollen danger neutralized?” he asked weakly.

Carlos nodded. “Yes. I’m back.”

“I’m glad.”

A long silence, in which Cecil felt like he could be anxious, but was too blissed-out to care. “Cecil?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you mean what you said? About liking me?”

“Yeah, Carlos, I say it on the radio. It’s not a secret.”

“I wasn’t sure. I misread social cues a lot.”

Cecil propped himself up on one elbow. “Well did _you_ mean what _you_ said? About trusting me and thinking I was cute?”

Carlos nodded. “Every word.”

They lay side-by-side, staring up at the ceiling. “So what do we do now?”

“Immediately, romantically, or sexually?”

“Uh…all three.”

“Well, I suppose we’re still stuck here until the pollen clears. Romantically, I’d like to pursue a relationship, if you reciprocate.”

Cecil grinned so wide his cheeks hurt. “You wonderful, perfect man you.” He leaned over and brushed a soft, chase kiss against Carlos’ lips. “Of course I reciprocate.” They went back to lying there, and somehow Cecil’s hand found its way into Carlos’. “And what about sexually?”

“Well, I believe you mentioned riding me next time. But I have to admit, I am…interested in alternative uses for your tentacles.”

Cecil flung an arm over his eyes, laughing. “Well, I think I’d be receptive to that. Later. Right now I’m exhausted. Nap?”

“Agreed.”

Cecil snuggled in close to Carlos, and feeling warm and safe, drifted away to the sounds of air horns finally fading off in the distance.

**Author's Note:**

> Nice, wholesome, aphrodisiac tentacle sex. Yup. If you'd like to see sneak peeks and talk about tentacle sex some more (I mean, who doesn't?) follow me [here](http://www.floating-cats.tumblr.com) and we can discuss tentacles to our heart's desires.


End file.
